OCD has a habit of switching themes or even taking on multiple themes at once, much like a chameleon that shifts colors to blend into its surroundings. It can change so quickly and unexpectedly, making it feel impossible to catch hold of. This explains why some call the disorder a shape-shifter or compare it to the game whack-a-mole. Just when you think you’ve figured out how to handle one obsession, another one takes its place. It’s exhausting, and it can make you feel like you’ll never find solid ground. But the truth is, recognizing this pattern is the first step to breaking free.
Witness My OCD Shift in Real Time
I started seeing this guy, and I’m beginning to develop feelings for him. This past weekend, after our fourth date went really well, things started to shift—his responses became delayed, and he stopped asking me how my day was. That’s when my brain flipped the switch. It woke me up in the middle of the night, urging me to write this down because what I’m experiencing right now is OCD. Specifically, Fear of Self-Harm OCD.
Fear of Self-Harm OCD
Even writing this gives me anxiety. What if I actually do harm myself? Would this note be considered a suicide letter? But I remember what my therapist told me: if you’re worrying about whether something is a sign that you’ll harm yourself, that’s OCD talking. So, I’m going to keep writing and share exactly what’s going through my head.
I started to panic because I still hadn’t heard from him. He mentioned that he wasn’t feeling well after drinking a beer that made him feel weird. And just like that, my Contamination OCD kicked in.
Contamination OCD
What if that beer had something in it? What if I feel weird, too? And down the rabbit hole I go—what if feeling weird leads to something worse? Could it lead to death if we kiss on our next date?
But then, after a day and a half of no response, my brain switched tracks. The contamination fears faded, and the anxiety about his silence took over. What if he’s seeing someone else? What if he’s not interested anymore? Cue the reassurance-seeking—I reread our last conversation, searching for proof that everything is fine. It didn’t help.
So, I tried to go back to sleep. That’s when the intrusive thoughts really started flooding in, scaring me. They whispered, What if you hurt yourself? What if you jump out the window? The mere thought of those things terrifies me, which is another sign that this is OCD and not me. But knowing that doesn’t make it feel any less real in the moment.
Even typing this, knowing that someone else might read it, makes me want to throw up. But this—this fear of harming myself—is pure OCD. Simple as that. And I’m choosing to keep this here, to not erase it, because I know how important it is to share these intrusive thoughts. To remind others that they’re not alone, no matter how scary or convincing their thoughts may seem.
Existential OCD
I was going to end this with "goodbye and good luck" (lol), but then my OCD chimed in: What if writing that transports me into a parallel universe? And that, my friends, is Existential OCD.
I’m waiting to see if another type of OCD will pop up, but for now, I’ve got nothing. So, goodnight ☺️
Some questions you might have:
What Is an Example of Existential OCD?
An example of existential OCD could be the fear of being transported into another universe or questioning the meaning of life, which can feel overwhelming and disorienting. It’s just another way OCD can play with your mind, making you question reality in ways that feel almost impossible to escape.
What Is an Example of an Intrusive Thought?
An example of an intrusive thought might be suddenly wondering, What if I hurt myself? or What if I’m getting sick? These types of thoughts are a common part of OCD. They pop into your mind unexpectedly and can be very distressing, even though they don’t reflect your true desires or intentions.
How to Stop OCD Thoughts
So, how can you stop these constant shifts in thoughts and obsessions? One approach is to recognize the pattern of OCD and resist the urge to engage with the thoughts. The more you focus on them, the more intense they can become. Instead, try acknowledging the thoughts without judgment, remembering that they don’t define you.
How to Manage When OCD Keeps Shifting
If OCD is trying to pull you into its shape-shifting spiral, here are some ways to break the cycle:
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Recognize OCD’s Pattern – OCD wants certainty, and when it doesn’t get it, it moves the goalpost. Remind yourself: This is just my OCD looking for another way to keep me stuck. Naming it takes away some of its power.
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Resist the Urge to Seek Reassurance – Whether it’s rereading texts, Googling symptoms, or asking a friend for reassurance, these behaviors might feel helpful in the moment but actually reinforce the anxiety in the long run. Instead, try to sit with the uncertainty.
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Allow the Thoughts Without Judgment – Instead of fighting the intrusive thoughts or trying to push them away, acknowledge them. You might say to yourself: I’m having the thought that… This small shift helps create distance between you and the fear.
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Stay Present – When OCD has you spinning through the past or future, grounding yourself in the present moment can help. Take deep breaths, notice your surroundings, and remind yourself that you don’t need to solve anything right now.
Presently Reminders for This Moment
If you need a tangible reminder to help you stay grounded, these Presently phrases can serve as gentle anchors:
💛 "Embrace uncertainty." – You don’t need all the answers right now. Sitting with the unknown is uncomfortable, but it’s also the key to breaking free.
💛 "Brave the uncomfortable." – Anxiety tricks you into thinking you need to solve or fix something immediately. But true strength comes from allowing discomfort to exist without reacting to it.
💛 "It’s okay to feel how I feel." – Whether you’re feeling anxious, sad, or frustrated, those emotions are valid. You don’t have to change them or make them go away.
💛 "My thoughts are passing clouds." – Just because a thought feels real doesn’t mean it is. Like clouds in the sky, intrusive thoughts come and go. You don’t have to hold onto them.
OCD may try to shift, morph, and trick you into believing its lies—but you don’t have to play its game. The more you practice sitting with uncertainty, the less power OCD has over you. 💛
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