6 Phrases We All Use That Are Actually Really Toxic


1. "Good vibes only"

Instead try: "Brave the uncomfortable"

I used to live my life by the mantra of "good vibes only," hoping that simply willing positivity into existence would bring about a sense of well-being. However, I soon realized that you can't just wish away anxiety or mental health disorders. It takes real work and effort to navigate through the challenges they present.

If you're struggling with anxiety, telling yourself that "only good vibes are allowed here" may seem like a helpful approach. But what happens to all that anxiety when you push it aside? Does it truly disappear, or does it resurface even stronger later on?

Instead of masking anxiety with empty positivity, a more effective approach is to sit with those uncomfortable feelings and face the problem head-on. By acknowledging and accepting the anxiety, you create space for genuine growth and healing. It's in this process of facing our fears and seeking rational solutions that we can truly experience a shift towards lasting well-being.

So, rather than hoping for good vibes, try embracing the discomfort, allowing yourself to address the root causes of your anxiety, and finding practical ways to cope with it. In doing so, you may discover that genuine good vibes and a sense of inner peace are within your reach.


2. "It'll work out in the end"

Instead try: "Embrace uncertainty"

Reassuring yourself with "it'll all work out in the end" might give you a temporary boost, but let's be real, life doesn't always go according to plan. Embracing uncertainty is about accepting that things can get messy and unpredictable. It's like saying, "Hey, I don't have all the answers, and that's okay!"

When we embrace uncertainty, we're not avoiding or ignoring our anxieties. We're facing them head-on and learning to roll with the punches. It's about letting go of the need for complete control and embracing the adventure of life. We become more adaptable, resilient, and equipped to handle whatever comes our way.

Instead of relying on false reassurances or wishful thinking, embracing uncertainty encourages us to find strength within ourselves. It's like flexing those mental muscles and saying, "I got this, no matter what!" We become more confident in navigating the twists and turns, knowing that we have the power to overcome challenges.

So, let's ditch the empty promises of a smooth-sailing life and embrace the beautiful messiness of uncertainty. It's in those uncertain moments that we grow, learn, and discover our true strength.


3. "Think positive thoughts"

Instead try: "I am separate from my mind"

When we constantly push for positive thoughts, we may end up ignoring or suppressing our true feelings, which can make things even worse.

But when we remind ourselves that "I am separate from my mind," we're acknowledging that our thoughts don't define who we are. It's like saying, "Hey, I see you, thoughts, but I don't have to let you run the show." It's about taking a step back and being aware of our thoughts without getting caught up in them.

By embracing this mindset, we can practice mindfulness and stay present in the moment. We become more in tune with our emotions and can respond to them with kindness and understanding. It's about accepting the ups and downs, the good and the not-so-good, and knowing that it's all part of being human.

So, instead of constantly chasing positive thoughts, let's focus on being present and accepting ourselves as we are. It's a healthier and more authentic way to navigate through life's twists and turns.


4. "Never give up"

Instead try: "I let go of what I can't control"

Ever had someone tell you to "never give up" and felt an instant urge to throw in the towel? Yeah, it happens. Turns out, this phrase isn't always as motivating as we think.

Holding onto something that's working against us can actually be harmful. Sometimes, things don't work out because of factors beyond our control. It's not about giving up; it's about recognizing when it's time to let go.

Instead of repeating the same old "never give up" mantra, try shifting your mindset to "let go of what you can't control." By embracing this mentality, you free yourself from unnecessary stress and disappointment. You become more adaptable and open to new possibilities.

When you let go of what you can't control, you make room for growth and find new pathways to success. It's like releasing the burden of trying to force outcomes that aren't meant to be. You start focusing your energy on what you can control and take proactive steps towards your goals.

So, the next time someone tells you to "never give up," kindly remind them that letting go can be the key to true success. Embrace the power of releasing what's beyond your control, and watch how it opens doors to new opportunities and greater fulfillment.


5. "Happiness is a choice"

Instead try: "It's okay to feel how i feel"

Let's be real, emotions can't always be controlled like an on/off switch. We go through ups and downs, and that's just part of being human.

When we accept that it's okay to feel a range of emotions, even the not-so-great ones, we show ourselves some much-needed compassion. We're not robots programmed to be happy all the time. It's unrealistic and puts unnecessary pressure on ourselves.

Instead of pretending everything is fine and dandy, we should give ourselves permission to acknowledge and sit with our emotions, even the uncomfortable ones. By doing so, we actually process and deal with them in a healthier way. It's like facing the problem head-on, rather than pretending it doesn't exist.

So, next time you're feeling down or anxious, remind yourself that it's okay to feel how you feel. Embrace those emotions, be kind to yourself, and trust that you're on a path of genuine well-being. It's a much more authentic and empowering approach than trying to force happiness when it's just not happening.


6. "Just don't think about it"

Instead try: "My thoughts are passing clouds"

When we're faced with troubling thoughts or intrusive ideas, simply trying to push them away or avoid thinking about them is like trying to hold back a river with your bare hands. It's not effective and often leads to more frustration and anxiety.

On the other hand, viewing your thoughts as passing clouds allows you to adopt a more mindful and accepting perspective. Just like clouds in the sky, thoughts come and go naturally. They are transient and ever-changing.

By acknowledging that your thoughts are not permanent or defining aspects of who you are, you create space for them to naturally pass by without getting entangled in their web. It's a way of detaching yourself from the power these thoughts may hold over you.

This approach encourages you to observe your thoughts with curiosity and non-judgment, rather than trying to suppress or control them. It's about building a healthier relationship with your thoughts and understanding that they don't have to dictate your actions or define your identity.

So, the next time unwanted thoughts arise, remind yourself that they are just passing clouds. Observe them, acknowledge their presence, and allow them to drift away naturally. It's a more compassionate and empowering way to navigate the ups and downs of your mind.


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